Its been moods swings aplenty this week. More than usual, anyway. With all the other stuff thats going on in my life, especially that big, scary life thing thats ive told some of you about, the last thing I was needing is for me to realise that another flippin year has managed to grind by, and that this time next week ill be 31. Grrr.
So, typically, my brain is doing its usual and reminding me that im still single (and then going into detail about all the issues Ive got that contribute to that), that im not getting any younger and all the other stuff I wanted to have done or seen. Therefore my mood has been bouncing around a bit. It doesnt seem as bad as last year...last year was one of the "big" numbers and I was NOT happy about it...but still....
Still feels like a clock.
Thing is, some things this year have gone quite well. Sure, the last month or so has be very much a WTF???? and thats not going to change for a some time...and sure this year marked another relationship that didnt work out (that was kinda a WTF too, tbh), but theres been some good times and I acheived a few things. I got a story published on a website and I got some steam on to actually start some other writing projects (just need to finish them now), Ive had lots of good times with friends...some stuff has been pretty decent, all told. It even turns out that im loving having a car and really enjoying driving it, even though the reason for buying was more neccessity than "i want to". i also bought one of Adam's paintings, an amazing piece called "Crowd of One" that I think is just brilliant, so simple and so evocative.
This next year is going to be hard. Big scary life stuff is happening and is going to continue for a long time yet. I just hope that everything turns out all right in the end, and that when the dust has settled everything and everyone will be okay again.
Then maybe Ill do something about that clock.