automatonrevolution

When a high ranking member of a racist, xenophobic, Holocaust denying Fascist organisation calls other people “thugs” because they threw eggs at him. Personally I think he got off lightly with only a few eggs. Considering the evil that this criminal (yup, hes got a criminal record for inciting racial hatred) spouts from his mouth, he doesn’t have much right to point fingers at anyone else.

I guess theres also a certain amount of horrific irony that members of that same loathsome organisation have somehow managed to get themselves elected to the European Parliament. The very idea turns my stomach.

All those veterans who fought, and saw their comrades fall, on the beaches of Normandy must be wondering what the hell went wrong….Didn’t we go to war against Hitler to end the evils of xenophobic fascism?

Meeting up with an old flame isn’t always as fun as it sounds. It starts off great, but then sometimes the emotions and memories mix and then it F’ing sucks.

Just thought I’d mention it.

Oh, and to all those who waltz though life all happy and bouncy with everything falling into place and love and happiness stretching before you like a f’ing meadow in front of F’ing bunnies…..I hate you.

Now im going to go curl up in a ball for a bit.

My dear friend Kai posted the following on her blog, so Im doing the same. Same rules, same restrictions and so on. My only caveat for this is that since I am about as Craft-Inclined as a hampster, the thing you get if you respond to this will most likely be a short story. Since I can do those. Think of it as a way of incentivising me to write more.

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! my choice for you.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make you. But I certainly will try.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It will be done this year (2009)
- You have no clue what its going to be,it may be a story, it may be poetry. I might draw or paint something. I may make you something and mail it to you. Who knows? not you, that’s for sure!

The ‘catch’ is that you have to post this in your journal as well. Come on, we can all make something!

A facefuzz of infinite jest….

Yes, I know that the line is “Alas poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio,,,” before anyone starts quibbling.

My beard is gone. It is an ex-beard. It is…no more….it is pushing up the daisies.

I shaved it. I fancied a change, and Id been going on about thinking about maybe, perhaps contemplating shaving it off, so on Saturday I just went ahead and did it.

So its gone. My face is oddly smooth, apart from the shaving cuts. Well, its been a while since I shaved that part of my face, frankly its been a while since I last SAW that part of my face, so its taking a while to get used to shaving it properly.

So far most peoples reactions have been positive. I havent seen anyone collapsing in hysterics. The worst thing ive heard people say (at least to my newly smoothed face) is “It makes you look younger.”

I can live with that.

Isn’t glue fun? It smells weird, it gets everywhere…and it resolutely fails to glue what its supposed to. Okay, thats a lie…Plastic Glue is great..i have very little trouble with that stuff, but superglue is a pain in the unpronouncables. Its much better at glueing my fingers than it is anything else. (fans of Dog Soldiers may now feel free to replay that scene with the intestines and superglue if the really want to…)

So why am I jabbering on about glue. Well, its because for the last two weeks ive been glueing models together in a frenzy of modelling joy. On a whim, just after New Year, I sauntered into Games Workshop to see what its like these days, since the last time I was there was about 2nd year at Uni…after that I couldnt afford it and I didnt like what they were doing with the game systems at the time.

Anyhew, I wondered in, looked around, marvelled at the quality of the models on show, goggled when I found out that most of them where plastics instead of metal (these are seriously high quality models, chatted to the staff about the good old days (one of them literally got all misty eyed when I explained that I last played 40K when it was 2nd edition), and then promptly bought the 40K starter box. I took it home, assembled the models, marveled again at how good they look, and set about testing out the new (well, new to me) rules.

I liked it. A lot. It had a lot of stuff that I remembered, and a bunch of new, better ways of doing things and explaining things that made so much sense. Of course, theres some bits that had me going “wtf?”, but once I got my head round it (thanks to a phone call to Dave), I got it sorted.

The upshot of all this is that I went and bought more minatures, enough Space Marines to make the army that comes in the starter box into a game legal force, and a game legal Chaos Space Marine Army, (im quite proud that I managed not to go buying a ton of Eldar…I have lots of that from the first time round back at Mums) and ive been assembling all those models every evening since I bought them. it takes longer than you’d think. So many of them are plastics, with lots and lots of variations in pose and equipment that assembling 5 Assault Marines can take over an hour…with lots of referance back to the Codex to see what they can be equiped with in game.

In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, There Is Only War……

And glued fingers.

Its been moods swings aplenty this week. More than usual, anyway. With all the other stuff thats going on in my life, especially that big, scary life thing thats ive told some of you about, the last thing I was needing is for me to realise that another flippin year has managed to grind by, and that this time next week ill be 31. Grrr.

So, typically, my brain is doing its usual and reminding me that im still single (and then going into detail about all the issues Ive got that contribute to that), that im not getting any younger and all the other stuff I wanted to have done or seen. Therefore my mood has been bouncing around a bit. It doesnt seem as bad as last year…last year was one of the “big” numbers and I was NOT happy about it…but still….

Still feels like a clock.

Thing is, some things this year have gone quite well. Sure, the last month or so has be very much a WTF???? and thats not going to change for a some time…and sure this year marked another relationship that didnt work out (that was kinda a WTF too, tbh), but theres been some good times and I acheived a few things. I got a story published on a website and I got some steam on to actually start some other writing projects (just need to finish them now), Ive had lots of good times with friends…some stuff has been pretty decent, all told. It even turns out that im loving having a car and really enjoying driving it, even though the reason for buying was more neccessity than “i want to”. i also bought one of Adam’s paintings, an amazing piece called “Crowd of One” that I think is just brilliant, so simple and so evocative.

This next year is going to be hard. Big scary life stuff is happening and is going to continue for a long time yet. I just hope that everything turns out all right in the end, and that when the dust has settled everything and everyone will be okay again.

Then maybe Ill do something about that clock.

Warning, if dental stuff makes you oogy then you might not want to read further. Its not graphic as such, but still….

Those of you who have long memories concerning this blog will remember that roughly a year or so ago I had to have my top left wisdom tooth removed, because it was falling apart and doing so in a spectacularly painful way. At the time I counted my blessings that it was a top one rather than a bottom one, since its apparently the bottom ones that are the cause of most “horror” stories concerning wisdom tooth extractions. I got home, watched a very good episode of Dr Who (called “Blink”) and generally felt rubbish for a couple of days. After that I tried to be more careful with my teeth, brushing 3 times a day (even  having a toothbrush and paste at work so I could brush after lunch) and using mouthwashes and so on.

Despite all this, I was scunnered yet again by my own mouth. It gets me into trouble a lot….

I have whats been described as a small compact mouth and jaw set (and a large and  very active tongue, fnar fnar). This is putting it mildly. To say it is tightly put together would be understating it. Theres not a lot of room in there. The tongue feels a little cramped and wishes it could upgrade to a condo (wtf am i talking about?). Point is that this has meant theres not much room for my wisdom teeth, which have been variably grinding against my jaw since they came in, and even their arrival was an uncomfortable experience because the gums didnt recede properly.

So earlier in the week im brushing my teeth with my funky doodie electric toothbrush. I move it to the aquward spot behind my top right wisdom tooth (behind the sharp bit that kept bothering my cheek) and theres this crunching noise…and I have a mouthful of blood and bits of tooth.

Oh Dear, i said to myself calmly…(actually i went “AAAAAAAAGH Mother&%$^#&&#$*#**!!!!!!!!!!). This occasioned a trip to the Emergency Dentist that I wont bore you with, but it meant two days off work, the first of which was spent in a case of mild (hah!) concern, since I wasnt actually in pain…the second of which was spend first being bloody terrified and then feeling very poo, with a numb mouth and a hole where the remains of my tooth used to be. I hate needles. i hate injections, and I hate stupid questions like “Im prodding your tooth with a very sharp instrument, please tell me if you feel anything.”

I mean…if shes prodding my tooth with something sharp…shes going to KNOW if I feel something…not a lot of grey area in that one….

And the worst part of it was that your not allowed any alcohol for a few days after an extraction. I really could have done with a calming beer on tuesday…or even a wee dram…but nooooooooo, not allowed. Not allowed hot or cold stuff either, so ice-cream was out too. Thats just rubbish that is.

Why are they called Wisdom teeth anyway? Theyre so far back in your mouth that you dont actually use them for anything (according to the dentist), their usually too big, grow funny and tend to be a total pain until they get removed, and if theyre the bottom ones theyre a total pain to GET removed too.

Stupid things.

I’ve been watching a lot of Dr Who recently…the older stuff, the origional stuff. Jon Pertwee and Peter Davidson and Tom Baker etc. And ive come to the conclusion that the new series has a bit of a problem. Its too much of everything…its too “in your face”…too much razzle-dazzle. Now, some of this is due to the change from a serial based show to single episodes. The available time is shorter and therefore theres less space to put plot and characterization. So to cover over the more paper thin elements they have to layer it with fast paced action scenes and lots of music. Most of the time this is fine and can still produce some amazing episodes, such as the one with the Weeping Angels…but when they do a 2 part episode the lack of depth in most of the single episode stories is shown for what it is.

The overuse of music is a big problem for me. if you go watch the earlier stuff the music was pretty understated most of the time. Sure, thered be the occasional score that sounded as if the BBC Philharmonics Workshop had made some new sounds that they didnt know what else to do with…but most of the time the music was there to undercurrent what was happening, not cover up cracks in the story. Dont get me wrong, I like the new series of Dr Who, but in many ways its not a patch on the older stuff. The stories are generally thinner, the characters more comedic or stereotypical, theres less room for thought or to explore the Doctor’s attitudes. The special effects are better, and the sets dont wobble so much, but still….

I really dont think it would hurt for Russel T Fanboy to go back and rewatch the older stuff…and see just how good it is.

I’ve had enough. Officially. It hasn’t even happened yet and im already sick of it. Im already grinding my teeth and finding excuses to leave conversations at work.

Valentine’s Day is coming.

I know its coming because its been impossible to avoid for the last two weeks…like the buildup to Christmas, only without something fun at the end of it. I hate it. Detest. Despise. Loath. Abhor. Revile.

This is a day which is designed to do two things, in my view. First, its designed to make us single people feel more lonely and miserable than we already do…and second, its to sell lots of overpriced cards and chocolates and flowers to people that should know better. When your with someone, have someone that you love…you don’t need a Hallmark approved day to show that person that they’re special to you. Every day is special. Romance because its the thing to do on that day doesnt seem right to me…the chocolates, the cards, the flowers, the dinner…theyre all much more meaningful when you do them just because you love your partner…not because its Valentine’s Day.

Ah, you say….but your just bitter.

Yup. Damn straight. Last time I got anything for Valentine’s Day i was in my OLD flat. As far as im concerned its just a highly unwelcome reminder of my single status. Im already lonely. I dont need a Hallmark approved day to drive the point home.

If it was just the day itself Id manage. Id do the equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears and humming loadly until it went away, but its not just the one day. Its been forced down my throat, as I said, for the last two bloody weeks. Every shop is full of special offers and fancy displays about it, the newspaper on the bus mentions it every second page. Thanks for rubbing it in.

So yeah, im moaning and complaining. Cheese with this Whine? Yes please. Because I’m sick of having to put on a brave face. Valentine’s day makes me feel like something unrepeatable. So this is my BAH HUMBUG! moment, okay?

Well, this year started off with some unexpected, and wonderful, news…my short story, “Memories” has been nominated for a “Preditors and Editors” online award. Now frankly I’m over the moon that something I’ve written has even gotten published, and I’m gobsmacked that the response to the story has been so good…one of the biggest kicks I get out of writing is in knowing that people have enjoyed what I’ve written…so to learn that its also been nominated for this award has pretty much bowled me over.

So, in the best tradition of shameless plugs, I’m going to point whoever stumbles across this blog towards http://digitalisobscura.com/ , where you can find “Memories” (and frankly you should go there anyway because the site is full of interesting articles, stories and poetry)…and if you like the story can I shamelessly ask that you go to http://www.critters.org/predpoll/ and maybe vote for my story?

Fingers crossed